If you Love Me
by hisachan1815
Summary: What will happen if your bestfriend saw your diary and got jealous with your past? hmmn... Don't think! Just read! XD LeoPika Story dedicated for Valentines Day... Please R&R minna-san! Love yah!


**A/N:**

Another one uploaded by me on the same day as my yin yang story! XD Because I really made this out for Valentine's Day… I didn't have the chance to upload my Xmas story before because of lack of computer. What? 'Lack of Computer'? XD

Again I will ask another question, did you ever experience of writing into a diary? What will you do if you read a diary of your friend which was written long ago?

I hope this will also inspire us and let us know that, "We should not live our lives with the past and move on wholeheartedly" (Hey! I just made the quotes I'm writing as well as in the other story of mine) ^^ Just proud so, please read this and tell me your comments!

**Disclaimer:**

I do not own Hunter X Hunter and these sugoi characters! Kyaa!

LeoPika

It was almost a week since the two accidentally met. Leorio was finished with his medical exam that's why he decided to go home. But before he goes to his apartment, he decided to set off to a coffee shop and open his books to read some of his lessons.

He immediately called Kurapika and told him that he will go home a little bit late. With the way how the Kuruta answered him; it is obvious that he was so annoyed at Leorio.

He will be the one who will clean his so messy house again. But, his anger didn't get to Leorio, or it's just Leorio decided to just ignore it because… he is immune to the blonde's anger. He just hanged up the phone and placed it inside his pocket.

He took his wallet and was about to pay when he saw the blonde's picture. He kept that for almost a year because that's the only way to see Kurapika's face without his cold façade set on him. Yes… He like the blonde…

He ignored the picture again then returned it to where it was placed earlier. He stood up by his seat and went to the library.

LeoPika

Kurapika was busy cleaning his friend's dirty room. He is very tired and it is obvious to him, he acts like Leorio's mother that always follow his steps just to avoid him being tripped or what. _This is harder than gathering my brethren's eyes… _

He suddenly saw a book of Leorio which is scattered on the floor. He should not open it but his curiosity overpowered him. He read it and his eyes suddenly widen when he realized what it is.

"Leorio's diary…"

He sat on his messy bed then began reading it. He was astonished with the first writings in the diary. It seems like it happened a long long time ago in the other's life. A child's handwriting…

_September 12_

_ Hi, I am Leorio Paladiknight and I am the owner of this diary! I am 8 years old and I am very cute boy! Hahaha~!_

_ Anou… today, me and my bestfriend Pietro went out to play soccer but it ended up on arguing with other kids because they gets our soccer ball… I wish me and Pietro could play somewhere without anyone bullying us… They're so mean… I hate them, but my bestfriend told me to not to do that because it is bad so… I just tried to be quiet and stopped myself from fighting back._

_ By the way! I need to rest! Oyasuminasai!_

_ -Leorio Paladiknight_

He turned to look to the other page and decided to read it quietly. But he was shocked when he saw the signature on the end; it was not only Leorio… Pietro's name was also written on it so it means, he was there while his friend writes this.

There he realized more that Leorio was not studying because for himself only. He does that because he wants to change this past that happened on them. _He treasures his friend like how I treasured Pairo too… _But after a while, he cannot control himself from trembling. _Pietro died today… I was very sad but what else can I do…?_ "Leorio… I'm sorry…"

He didn't realize that his eyes started to water and a tear dropped on the diary. So, when he saw it. He knew that he was invading Leorio's property so, he placed it back where he saw it but he arranged it ofcourse and started his chores again.

LeoPika

"I'm already here…"

Leorio was surprised when he saw Kurapika preparing food for him. It was almost 6 o'clock and it began raining hard since he arrived. He called Kurapika and the other turned to him and sent him a smile… A heartful smile…

"Konbanwa… (Good evening)"

Leorio just sit infront of the table and gave Kurapika a suspicious stare. It was the first time that the blonde did those with a smile on his face. "Hey… I think this is poisonous…"

With what he said, Kurapika hit his head then yelled at him. "I'm not a KILLER you baka!" After that, the blonde left Leorio like he always did when they fights. So, he has no choice to eat alone and wash the dishes himself.

LeoPika

The blonde's bedroom door opened and Leorio went inside with a towel wrapped around his waist, exposing his muscular body… The blonde blushed at what he had seen so he threw a pillow at Leorio but the other caught it then threw it back to him. He thought, Leorio went there to tease him but he was wrong… The other spoke up something that made him feel a tinge of pain on his chest.

"Next Friday is Valentine's Day ... Can you help me impress my date?"

"Y-You have a date?" He said in astonishment. So, Leorio rolled his eyes then tried to challenge the blonde. That made the other's eyebrow furrowed but still he nodded and played it coolly. "Alright… That person has a shoulder length hair… Cute but she's just a nagger sometimes… But still, that's what I like about her. She's too beautiful! More beautiful than you…"

After saying that, he stuck his tongue out then waited for the blonde's answer. He was afraid that the other would reject him again but…

"Alright… But still, I don't care if she's beautiful or not… I'm not interested to her… I just wanna help you so, can you leave me now?"

"Okay… By the way, the dinner's great… Oyasumi…"

He said as he went out and closed the door. Kurapika stood up then turned off the lights. He opened the window beside his bed then gazed at the stars. "Does time changes people? Am I really his friend or just someone that entered his life…?"

He asked in pain but he doesn't know why; his heart just told him to let out that before it bursts out… He was wondering why Leorio didn't show him what he showed for his former bestfriend. He was really curious…

LeoPika

Kurapika was awoken with the loud thud on the other room. So, he immediately ran towards their and saw Leorio almost buried with his mountain of books. He immediately helped him and told him that he should be careful next time. "Do I really need to act like your mom?" He also asked annoyingly that made Leorio' eyes widen.

"I didn't ask you to do that… But if you're tired with being my mom, why don't be mine instead."

He said to Kurapika. The blonde was about to punch him when he noticed that the other looks determined with what he said so, to change the topic… He just pulled Leorio and pushed him towards the bathroom.

"Take a bath… A girl doesn't like stinky men…"

"I'm not stinky! You can smell me if you want to!"

"Hentai… yamero… just take a bath and I'll get your clothes… It's weekend so, we'll go out and I'll teach you how to have manners!"

Before closing the door, Leorio rolled his eyes then clicked his tongue twice. Kurapika frowned a bit then just proceeded to his chaotic room.

LeoPika

Leorio and Kurapika were sitting on a table in the coffee shop wherein they accidentally met again before they temporarily 'lived together'.

The brunette was wearing casual clothes and not his usual attire while just Kurapika wore a simple black shirt and pants and now, he is teaching him how to talk to a lady.

Some people can see the both of them as couples because although Kurapika is wearing those, his girly features seem to appear and deceive the other's eyes.

"Leorio you cannot tell her perverted words… Surely, she'll leave you and another thing! You cannot act so harsh! Remember that! Now, pretend that I'm your… uh… date…" 

Leorio saw a blush appeared on the blonde's face when he told him that so, he just smiled at him that made him flush redder and did what he wanted to do.

Now, they are finished to the first to five steps on how to date a girl; now, they are going towards the last parts of it. Kurapika sat on a bench first and waited for Leorio to come back. He closed his eyes for a while then whispered Pietro' name. "I envy you Pietro… Leorio really… treasures you…"

"Huh? What are you saying Pika?"

Leorio unfortunately heard Kurapika uttered his name so, he sat next to him and handed him his ice cream… Kurapika just stayed quiet there and stared at his ice cream. He doesn't want to answer Leorio's question and the brunette realized that so, he just moved to him closer and placed his arm on the other's shoulder.

Kurapika let him do that and he also placed his hands on the other's free hand. "Leorio… am I really your friend?" The brunette suddenly looked at him with a worried expression on his façade. "Kura… why-"

"Ummn… I think we should postpone this first and continue it when I said… I'm tired and I wanna… rest…"

The blonde said as he pulls out from Leorio's hold and walks alone. _Maybe he's just tired because I think he is hallucinating… _He thought bitterly then walked behind him.

LeoPika

The blonde just slept the whole day while Leorio just sat in his room without even bothering Kurapika. He didn't know, the blonde's curiousness and envy overpowered the young guy's body and he finally took Leorio out of its supposed to be hiding place and read it.

He went out of the room but found no one but a piece of letter. He took it and read it quietly.

_Kurapika, I will not go home today… I don't want you to be angrier at me (if you are) so, I decided to let you to have a cool off. See yah tomorrow._

_ -Leorio_

He felt sad about it and was also glad that Leorio finally knew what he really feels. At least now, he can read his diary without concerning to be seen.

Some of the notes of Leorio made Kurapika think and asked himself. "Is this the Leorio I knew?"

LeoPika

Leorio was spent his night on a hotel room not so far from his apartment. He can sense something bad to Kurapika especially with what he said yesterday.

He just acted as if he didn't hear him say that he envies Pietro but no… he heard everything. He also left his diary there to test Kurapika's heart. He wanna know if he is really cold and heartless now before he confesses on him.

He knew that the blonde read it, and when he touched a page on it; he noticed teardrops on it and what amazed him was it was on the day where his friend died. He doesn't want to use Pietro for his benefits but surely, if he's alive, he'll support him too. _Sorry Pietro… Sorry Kurapika…_ he thought bitterly.

But the thing that struck him was why is Kurapika envying Pietro and why is he asking those questions to him. He can't read the other's mind now… Maybe he softened a bit but was also hurt… "But why? I know he doesn't like me more than a friend." He asked and that was the last thing he said to himself before he finally slept.

LeoPika

He entered the house at the morning and looked for his diary. He is correct, the blonde took it… He was about to smile because of the triumph that he had obtained but it was stopped when a sudden thought came to his mind. "Oh no… My notes about my love for him were there… But, how could I get that to him?" He asked himself ill at ease.

He doesn't want the blonde to know that until his surprise but he also doesn't want to tell him that he planned everything. So, all he did now was to go out and go to school before Kurapika sees him.

But unfortunately, Kurapika was also awake and they met on the living room. The blonde hesitated to look at him.

_K'so, why does this awkward situation need to happen? _Kurapika asked himself in his mind, wishing that he himself could answer. The brunette walked towards him then grabbed his arm. Kurapika's eyes widen but still, he didn't look at Leorio and lowered his head more. A certain question appeared in Kurapika's mind; he is itching to ask that that's why he spoke up using a very unwelcoming voice.

"What if I die? Will you ever cry for me?"

"Huh? Kurapika… what are you-"

"Shimata! (damn it) just say it Leorio."

Leorio didn't know what to do so he just turned to avoid Kurapika's eyes that are currently showing something that should not be there and let go of his hand. He pretended that he looked at the time and told him that he is already late for his other set of grueling medical examinations. After that he finally left.

Kurapika was surprised at what Leorio did so, his body trembled and he cannot help himself but to fall on his feet. His eyes are widely open and his breathing was rapid.

Although he doesn't like it… some tears found its way to escape from his eyes. "Why am I sulking here…? That is the truth… he sees me as only a replacement and nothing more… I should be happy with that! At least I knew that he is not my real friend… But now… *sob* I feel like… dying here…"

LeoPika

It began raining tears in Kurapika's eyes but Leorio doesn't have an idea with that, he only knows the fact that the sky just showers its tears and he doesn't like it. He felt bad when he left Kurapika alone and he doesn't know why? So, although school I not yet finished; he asked permission to go home.

He is right…

Something strange is happening; something was on the table and when he checked it, it was his diary and he don't know why, he felt like checking his phone and so he did. A message popped onto it so of course, he clicked it and heard the blonde's voice. _A voicemail? _

"Leorio… sorry if I read that diary… I'm really sorry for doing that without your permissions. Ummn, I didn't finished the whole story of yours so… no need to worry… But, it's up to you if you'll forgive me or… *sob* Forget me…"

_ He is crying? Why? _"Leorio! Ummn, I made another sin to you… I left without telling you. *sarcastic chuckles* I know you won't care because I know that you don't really see me as your friend… You're correct with that decision, I don't need friends too! But still… I'm *sob* I'm glad! I'm glad that I had someone like you before… Thanks… and goodbye…"

Leorio was surprised when it stopped… He looked at his phone and checked if there are any other messages that came from him but he was wrong… Nothing more. So, Leorio grabbed his diary and looked onto it; trying to wonder what Kurapika feels now. He doesn't know what is real reason… _Is it a wrong decision that I gave him that test…? I made him jealous at my deceased friend… But why?_ A thought flashed in his mind, and that made him feel guilty. "Why did he decide to stop reading before he reached the part when I wrote how much I love him? Now, I lost him."

_All those times… All those times that I thought he is happy, he is really sad. I thought I gave him everything but still… There are things that I didn't do to him… I thought he wouldn't mind but now I will now that he is hurt. But I need to give him time… Maybe someday, he will realize that he is more than anyone._

After that, he decided to just take off his rain drenched clothes then just do what he needs to do for forgetting the guilt that haunts him now.

LeoPika

Leorio passed his set of exams, so next week… It will be another regular day with him but now, without even a glimpse of Kurapika. The blonde decided to walk out of his life and start his own.

But the thing that bothers him was how Kurapika acted before and why is he… jealous? He checked all his writings in his diary but never found anything that can offend him. So, a frown appeared on his face.

By the way, it is Valentine's Day today yet, he lost his love. All was just made up; the Valentine's date, the girl and the practice that he planned. He did that because he wanted to be with Kurapika and spend their times together happily before he leave and don't let him see his face again.

But now, Kurapika is really lost. He won't come back or if he will, everything will change. A thought of Kurapika asking him what he will do if he dies made him lonelier. "Kurapika! Why can't you realize that I didn't answer before is because I am avoiding the fact that you will leave me someday with that way or not… Why!?"

He felt tears in his eyes but he doesn't feel that sulking can stop his guilt… So, he wiped his tears then went out.

It was been raining hard since then but that did not stop Leorio from running to the park where he and Kurapika should have a lesson about date. Their last lesson yet, it was not able to be finished because he left and no knows if he will come back again.

A simple diary that should be an answer for the revelation of his unrequited love is also the reason why his Kurapika left him alone to sulk. He sat on the bench where they both stayed and finally breakdown into tears. While weeping with agony, he mumbles Kurapika's name, sorrow marked his tone and expression as he facepalmed himself.

"Kurapika…! Why did you left me? Why are you envying Pietro…? Don't you know that our friendship is the most beautiful friendship that I had in this sorrowful life? So, why!?"

Leorio was surprised when the rain that is pouring into him stopped so, he lifted his head to look what is the reason of that but a voice behind his back, stopped him from moving to know who it is…

"Because you don't show me things that you showed him before… I can also sense that you don't care to me…"

The owner of the voice said sadly. Leorio was surprised when he heard that voice, at first he thought it was only a dream but when he turned to him and saw his beloved blonde standing behind him; holding an umbrella to stop them from wetting Leorio more.

The brunette didn't mind the fact that there are tears that are currently flowing in his face. It was covered by the water on his body indeed so, it won't be noticed. He was wondering why Kurapika came back so, he cleared his throat, stood up and asked him with his now trembling voice. "Why did you come back…?"

An annoyed expression came to the blonde's beautiful face then he closed his eyes then spoke up with his low but gentle tone. "I came here because I told you that we will continue your lessons in dating… Don't think that I came here because I care for you; I just did this for the girl's sake… I don't want her to meet a Leorio like what I am seeing now… You look awful man…"

He said and acted disgusted but instead of showing him his anger which Leorio showed always when Kurapika tells him those things; he just hugged Kurapika and a smile broke to his trembling lips. Kurapika was surprised with it so, he pushed Leorio away then handed him a towel.

He had forgotten the fact that because Leorio embraced him, he became soaked in water too. "Take that… Why do I need to act like your mom Leorio Paladiknight!?" he said repeating his own words before but now, Leorio stayed quiet and wiped his face with the towel.

He is still curious, Kurapika should be angry now right? Why is he acting like that to him? It is as if nothing happened but, that makes Leorio happier. The thing that happens is better. "Kurapika… I thought you left me… so, why?"

"Ummn, as I knew; earlier you are crying here and calling my name? Why? Don't you like it…? I'll just-"

"Gee! Yamero! That's so detailed! Okay, I am really happy because you're here."

A blush appeared on Kurapika's face so he just pulled Leorio home and told him that he should fix himself.

Finally, these two had forgotten what happened to them but maybe, temporarily only… However, it is better than never though.

LeoPika

After a few minutes of the lesson, Leorio suddenly shrieked, "Ah! I think were late!"

" 'Were?' Were late?"

Kurapika was surprised with Leorio. Instead of answering, Leorio just handed him a hoody jacket and a knee length shorts to Kurapika. "Wear those… You need to come with me…" He said seriously then ran to his room t get dressed.

Kurapika looked at the clothes and was amazed at Leorio, "How did he have my size?" So, he stopped asking then just fixed himself with the only thought retained in his mind. _If this is the last thing I can do for… the one I loved, I'll do it…_

A few minutes later, Leorio went inside Kurapika's room then found him sitting on the bed. "You still look beautiful…" He said as he adores the other's beauty beneath the male clothing he is wearing.

Kurapika just smirked at him then corrected his words. "Handsome…" he says teasingly that made Leorio hiss. Kurapika noticed a bag behind Leorio and told him to not bring that anymore… It ruins his attire. But, our stubborn Leorio insisted so Kurapika just let him.

Leorio went to Kurapika then patted his head. "I'm really happy that you are here…" Kurapika immediately changed the topic. He doesn't want to be emotional because honestly, he had been crying on those days that he is alone when he left Leorio.

"Matte… (wait) Are you really alright with me reading your diary?"

Instead of answering, Leorio just lowered his head. Kurapika thought that it will be a silent minute but then, Leorio chuckled childishly then carried him towards the main door.

Although he struggles, deep inside him loves it. He loves Leorio too but the other doesn't know that.

LeoPika

They found themselves sitting on a coffee shop, waiting for a girl who Kurapika doesn't know… Until, waiting got on his nerves and he spoke to Leorio with the tone of irritation. "Are you kidding me, waiting for an invisible is alright Leorio? I'm so enjoyed in doing this!"

But, the answer of Leorio made him stunned and just look at him with those astonished brown eyes. "Who said I am waiting for a girl…? My date is here, infront of me…"

"Huh?"

That was the only answer that came in Kurapika's mind so he said it to Leorio making the other sweatdrop. "eeh? Nani? (what?) You didn't get it? I just made up that dating thing to have a chance doing this with you…"

"But why Leorio…"

"Because… it's because… I love you… More than a friend Kurapika… I love you…"

"Then why didn't you told it earlier… If you love me… you should show it but not, I can see that you love your other best friend than me based on what I read…"

After that Kurapika stood up then was about to leave when Leorio handed him the diary that was opened on a certain page. Kurapika took a glanced at it and his eyes caught some words from the thing that has been written. _All the time, I've been waiting… I didn't realize that he is already here…_

So, Kurapika took the diary from Leorio and scanned it with wide eyes. At the latest page, he saw what Leorio wrote and it seems to pierce in his heart.

_ I really love this blonde… Why does he can't feel it? What should I do? I'm confused and also scare d of the consequences but still… I will not stop on believing… Someday, I will have a chance to tell him what I felt for him…_

_ -Leorio Paladiknight_

Kurapika wanted to cry so, he just placed the book on the table and told Leorio that he will just get his things on the other's house then leave him… again.

And he ran away again. Leaving Leorio but the brunette didn't hesitate to chase him, after he paid, he ran off too; bringing his diary back home.

LeoPika

Kurapika felt that he had showed enough for Leorio so; he needs to hide himself from him to avoid thinking this stuff again. But when he was about to go, Leorio arrived and caught his hand. He pinned Kurapika between him and the door then asked him why he needs to do that so, Kurapika told him that he is really hurt with what happened to them and he can't take hurting himself more with a fake love…

But he is wrong, his beliefs about Leorio's love changed when…

"This diary shows nothing but past. You are my present Kurapika and I don't want to lose you… I can't show you what I showed for Pietro before because you are different, because… I love you more than a friend!"

After that, Kurapika breakdown into tears and hugged Leorio. "Sorry! I've been leaving this life to sorrowful so I didn't realize that I am the one who still bring the pasts back… Leorio… I won't deny this anymore…"

Leorio thought that he will just say what he wants to say to him but he was shocked when Kurapika cut him with a passionate kiss. There are things that are hard to express by words and needed to be acted so, Kurapika did that to let the other know that he loves him too.

He pulled out then smiled at Leorio the brunette smiled at him too. "I love you too. Leorio Paladiknight."

An embrace cut them both then they didn't hesitate to show each other their long time secret love. Honestly, a long time love that has been discovered or known by will is better than keeping it to yourself.

Finally, after a long time of hiding each other's love, these two best friends came to the point of accepting that the way they feel to each other was not friendship anymore. They had their chance to speak the truth although the fear in their hearts clouded them for a long time.

Finally, Leorio and Kurapika's Valentine's became more beautiful than they both expected and it is because of a simple diary that cleared their blurred hearts and showed them what a real love can make us do.

-Owari-

Is it good? Any questions, just pm me. XD Please don't forget to _**R&R! **_Thanks!


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